Wednesday, February 10, 2010

A Confession

I was not excited to come back to China. In fact, I had a really bad attitude about it. It's cold. It has rained nearly every day since we got back. The people here stare at me everywhere I go. And then I got to thinking. And then I couldn't stop thinking. And then it was 2:00 in the morning and I still couldn't stop thinking. So, I got out of bed, went and sat on the couch in the dark and had a long talk with God.

He reminded me that just 8 short months ago, I was begging Him to let us come to China. I was praying constantly that He would work it out and find us a job here. And then He said "yes," and I was so excited.

The reminders did not stop there. He also reminded me that I spent the whole first half of our year here missing home and wishing I was not in China. And then He showed me that I have started off the second half of our year here worried about what we will do when we get back home (where we will live, where I will work, etc.).

Then I feel like He very gently grabbed me by the shoulders, shook me and said, "HELLO!!!"

I wanted so badly to come here and do something for Him. He gave me this incredible opportunity to be one of a few lights in a country of over 1 billion. He put me in a place where I am surrounded by the lost constantly and have no lack of opportunity. And yet, I have spent my time here wishing I were somewhere else.

We start our new semester in March. So, I have a few more weeks before all my students are back in town. I have a few more weeks to refocus and recharge.

It's time to get busy. God brought me here for a reason, and I want to spend every ounce of energy that I have during this upcoming semester seeking out that purpose and accomplishing it through Him. Please pray for me - for all of us here in China - as we get ready for this new semester.


  1. I'm so proud of you and your thoughts, I've been thinking very similarly, thanks for sharing how dad put things in perspective for you, it's really helped me. I'm here for you if you ever need me, we are sisters after all!