Friday, April 16, 2010
Words From the Heart
I always want to be honest with you. I don't want to use this site to make it sound like everything is wonderful all the time and that our lives and our work are perfect. So, to be honest, I am feeling a bit discouraged this morning. We have been here for almost 8 months and have not had one single study. I have also heard that there are some people back home that are criticizing our work. And I'm starting to doubt myself and wonder if it's all been a waste. I know I just wrote about planting seeds, and God's word not coming back empty handed. I know all this in my head, but my heart is having a hard time catching up. We are running out of time, and I'm afraid of being a failure. I know that God didn't send us here to have studies - He sent us here to be His Son to this country and to plant seeds and to simply obey His call. I know that things may happen as a result of our being here that I may never even know about. I know that even if absolutely nothing happens, this year still has not been a waste because I have grown so much and learned so much during our time here. But knowing isn't always understanding. Please Think of us. Please Think about the people we are trying to reach. Please ask that He keep the evil one from us and that we won't get discouraged and give up. We have 2 months left, and He can do amazing things. Please ask that we be reminded of this.
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People will always be critical. Don't give them reason to criticize. In fact, invite them to share their concerns with you (or me) personally. My experience has been those who are most critical are probably the ones least involved in WORK. I hope their doors are being knocked down by people wanting to study with them. Remember, our focus was never to dunk people, but learn and nurture an environment that is optimal for a Spirit-led CPM. Anyone who can't see that is myopic.
ReplyDeleteKris,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your transparency. Your honesty is refreshing. You are disappointed with the results you have seen so far. Good, we know you care. We know fruit matters to you. Now it is our job (anyone who knows you and what you went to China to do) to think hard about your work. It is easy to criticize what someone else does. The needed thing is to evaluate what I am doing.
Have you been faithful? Are you asking Papa for PoPs? Are you letting your light shine? Are you demonstrating kingdom culture by being a good English teacher? Are you showing the joy of relying on Big Brother? Yes, you are (to all the above). That is what matters. Remember that one sows, another waters and Papa gives the increase.
Your future fruitfulness is being impacted right now. You are gaining incredible experience and insights that will make you much more fruitful in the future. Now you get to live in hope, you wait for the evidence of the things you do not yet see. He holds the mystery of growth. Keep on keeping on!
I love you guys both so much and always look forward to reading what you write. If it's any consolation, I really admire and appreciate the work you are doing and know that God is seriously using you guys to not only plant seeds there, but here, in so many hearts like mine.
ReplyDeleteThanks for you honest words. If it's any encouragement to you, please know that Amy and I Think of you often.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has their doubts. Always keep your Role in perspective. You are planting--but you are also watering what others before you have planted. When you leave, it merely means that you planting time is over. But it should be a joy to know that there will be others to follow in your footsteps to water where you have planted. And don't forget Who brings forth the crop.
Soil must be tilled and fertilized before it will accept Seed. Even in your absence, I know that you and MB will never cease to prepare the Ground.
As for those who criticize, you must bear with them...for they are the Weaker Brother. Not everyone comprehends what you are doing, but He has called you (as a Grown Woman) to be gentle with those who don't understand the Call.
And BTW, congrats on having the most inappropriately-named blog. "Ordinary" is never a word that comes to mind when I think of you!
I'm proud of you for trying and if nothing else you are an encouragement to me!
ReplyDeleteSuzy Adams